When people play a role
Years ago, I took regular one-on-one sessions with my first spiritual teacher. She was a great role model for me for a long time. In one of the first sessions, I told her that I have a lot of grief and often cry in despair. I asked her if it was normal for me to cry so often or if I should change anything about it.
She then told me that she recently had tears when she saw a beautiful sunrise. This answer has hit me deeply. I had told her about my helpless, desperate crying and wanted to know if it was okay to give room to those feelings.
Her description of tears of emotion about the beauty of the world has shown me that either she does not understand me or that she does not want to share that part of her own experience with me. She wanted to be someone who does not cry in despair, but someone who merely sheds tears of emotion at the beauty of the world. This experience made me feel that I was not good enough.
When people are honest
Today - many years later - I have another teacher for my business and my inner development. When I recently had a session with her, telling her that I feel like I'm totally beside me, she laughed with me and told me how often that happens to her.
"It's okay," she told me, "sometimes you lie flat on the floor and feel like an idiot, but that's part of our way with it." At that moment, my heart opened. Her straightforward honesty made me laugh, wiping away my self-doubts and awakening my strength to take the next step. She did not speak to me from above, but from person to person.
Is that why I have less respect for her? No!
Is your work less effective? No!
All that is missing is the beautiful appearance. What is left is honest, genuine and beautiful.
Does perfection lead us to success?
If you look around in the old professional world, then you should think that it is not very much to promote success, to be honest. We all have learned that we are only taken seriously when we are perfect - or at least trying to be perfect.
I do not want to deny that there is this tendency in me as well. There are shares in me, they want to look good. There are parts in me that want to be admired and manage all problems with ease.
But my experiments with honesty have shown me that long-term, holistic success can only grow on a foundation of openness.
Honesty creates closeness
My honest contributions create a closeness that was not there yet. Honesty creates a bridge, a sense of togetherness and understanding. Honesty allows me to be where I am today - and accept me.
The more I get involved in my work, the less space there is for the "beautiful appearance". I feel that my honesty can do more than try to play a perfect role.
I have to remember the testimony of the writer Neil Gaiman, who in his speech to young art students (roughly) said:
"If I'm so honest about writing that I feel like I'm walking naked down the street,
maybe something great can happen."
Ultimately, my job is to help. If only one person benefits, that I'm honest - then I'd rather be honest.
We have nothing to hide
Wherever people have tried to keep a perfect picture of themselves, the scandals are coming to the surface. It makes sense to take a new path. Everything that is hidden, pushes to light.
Nothing is more disarming and touching than our honesty.
If you want to start living your destiny, do not try to be someone else. Be yourself. Share your experience. Laugh at yourself, do not take yourself too seriously. Do not get stuck on a role.
The less you hide and hold back, the more relaxed your life and your job become. If you want to help other people to go their own way, it makes sense to speak your own way. If you want to help heal internal injuries, it makes sense to talk about how you handle your own injuries.
Can you be too honest?
There are areas of my life that I do not share on my website. It does not feel right. When I feel that it is important to share a part of my experience, it feels good and balanced.
I clarify my intention for my contributions. When I sense that there are parts that want to live out their anger or want compassion from others, I clear those energies before I start writing.
Honesty does not mean that you have to share everything with others. Everyone decides for themselves what they want to communicate and how this can happen. There are e.g. Things that I would never post on the website.
Perfection prevents us from succeeding
Are there any ideas in you that prevent you from going into the world with your offer? Do you think that you have to change first, that you have to be a better version of yourself before you have the right to live your destiny?
Perfection is a prison that keeps us from beginning with what corresponds to our heart.
What old ideas of perfection can you throw overboard?
What keeps you from going out into the world today with your offer?
If you want, let go of the old ideas and allow yourself to be yourself. You are wonderful and perfect - just like you are today!