Forgive yourself. Be brave enough to be compassionate with yourself. Stop criticizing yourself, blaming yourself and thinking about what would have happened if you acted differently ... why are you treating yourself so badly? Do you really believe that you will move forward if you treat yourself this way? Do you think that punishing yourself is the answer to your mistakes? An error is only the result of a failed attempt, which does not necessarily mean that the original goal can not be achieved.
Forgive yourself. It is not necessary that you hate yourself, that you are being abused from the inside, that you are attributing the most negative character traits that you can define ... It's not that what you did or maybe did wrong, now an essential part of your identity would be. How can you reduce everything that you are to a mistake? Why are you hiding your values, your strengths, your genius?
Forgive yourself. I understand that you did not want it to happen so that it was not your intention, but you must not hide in a deep hollow of self-contempt. Let me tell you something. I do not want to convince you, I just invite you to think. Then you decide.
Making mistakes is human. It is normal to be wrong, especially if we want to evolve. This is not only happening to you, but to all people around the world. Some of them happen every day, others from time to time. We have to make so many decisions in our lives that it is impossible to always choose the best option. As William James once said, if we have to make a choice and fail to decide, our choice is to do nothing. And also there is the possibility to make a mistake.
As you can see, you have not done anything that others have not already done. Errors are the norm rather than the exception. Although you insist on accepting exactly the opposite. A mistake is an invitation to discover another way, a new way to reach the goal. A stepping stone to improvement. It is not a hole you can fall into and never leave, where you have to stay trapped and give up. He is also no reason to blame yourself and becoming one's own judge and executioner.
But of course there are errors and mistakes. Everything has to be said. There are those who are committed intentionally and others who insult and deliberately humiliate others. Such errors are much more complex and require a different approach, especially if they are repeated. Perhaps they are warnings of pride, resentment or emotional immaturity. It is best to turn to a specialist if you have lost control of yourself. But we are not here today to talk about such cases, but about the everyday defeats that we all suffer. About these mistakes, which we commit more often than we accept, and which are transformed into our chains.
Do not turn into your worst enemy
Maybe you have not noticed, but since you made that one mistake, you've gradually turned into your worst enemy. On the first day, you felt sorry for yourself and thought of what a fool you were, but then you just threw some cursing at your head. You declared war on yourself. You have gone into insatiable and reckless self-criticism until you have achieved a deep contempt for yourself. And all in complete silence. While you continued to live your life as you walked from one place to another, under the shower, into bed ... Without realizing it, you have classified yourself as a monster, and even though that can not be confirmed by anyone except you, that's when something happened destroyed in you.
Perhaps mistakes such as these leave traces, such as defensive behavior or clouded mood. You may also have more or less restricted your own life. You do not want to do certain things anymore or you have stopped talking to others. The point is that this act of making the mistake completely took control of your life and disoriented you. Doubt, over-anxiety, comparison, guilt and criticism are your new best friends. It seems that you do not know how to live without them, and if they do not come up by themselves, you even look for them. You are trapped in your malaise.
Forgive yourself to move forward
Do you still think that you have met your mistake in the best possible way? Do you think that becoming your worst enemy was a fair price for making a mistake? Let me tell you that it is not like that. You are much more than the sum of your mistakes.
To forgive means to learn to let go, to reinvent oneself.
Forgive yourself. It's the only way to break away from everything you've built on walls around you. It's the best way to break the chains that hold you captive so you can move forward again. But do not do it because it is time or because you are reading this, but because you feel that you really should do it.
What is done, is done. You can not change it anymore. You do not have the power to travel back in time to change what happened, but you can find the courage to correct that mistake by looking for alternatives. This does not mean that you ignore what has happened, but that you have the courage to take responsibility for it.
Look in the mirror and reconcile with yourself. Ask yourself for forgiveness. Do it from the heart. Give yourself another chance. Because there is nothing that teaches us more than a mistake. But that only applies if we decide mistakes as teachers and not understand as judges.